


Lay Me Down

by girlwithaplan



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Menstruation, sweet boyfriend javier pena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwithaplan/pseuds/girlwithaplan
Summary: I wrote this specifically about some of the issues I deal with with PCOS and all its many side effects. PCOS is poly-cystic ovarian syndrome and it mostly affects me during the week-10 days of my period but it can be an issue at other times as well. So a lot of this fic will revolve around periods, doctors, and the struggle a lot of women go through to get any kind of help for their pain. It’s not really graphic or descriptive as that’s not my style, but if it’s going to make you uncomfortable absolutely skip it! I picked Javi for this because when it’s bad, I don’t want to have to talk and I felt like he worked well for that kind of hurt/comfort.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Lay Me Down

“I’m sorry to tell you this but I’m still not sure what’s causing your pain.” 

Your first instinct upon hearing that is to cry, but you know it won’t do you any good. So you shove it down like you always do and ask quietly, 

“Is there anything you found out at all?” 

The nurse purses her lips and looks over the charts again, flipping pages as she looks. 

“The Doctor said it’s too soon to tell if anything is really wrong, we’ll need you to monitor your cycle for 3 months. Write down how long they last, levels of pain, symptoms, everything you can to help us out. I’ll have Mary call you with another appointment date, okay?” 

Your throat feels tight but you manage to ask, 

“You do believe me, right?” 

The nurse stops scribbling and regards you with furrowed eyebrows. You force yourself to maintain eye contact with her until she sighs and crosses the room to put a hand on your shoulder. 

“I do, honey, but these doctors,” she trails off and shakes her head, “we’ll keep trying okay? I won’t let him forget about you.” 

You nod and she shows you out of the office, waving as you exit the building and head to your car. Well, it’s your boyfriend’s car but he let you borrow it today, saying he could finish up his paperwork at home and wait for you to return. 

He’s been very understanding about the one car situation the two of you had been in for a month after yours stopped working completely. While technically you could pool your money and buy a second one, Javier reasoned that since you both worked at the embassy, you could just sync up your schedules as much as possible and save the money. So you’d been going in early with him and most days just walking home if the weather was nice. It’s worked out mostly and you’d been surprised when Javi said he’d come home with you early today instead of having you pick him back up at the office. 

Javier was worried about you; you knew this even if he didn’t vocalize it. He tended to hover when you weren’t feeling well and did everything he could for you before you could even think to ask. When you’d been in too much pain to move last month, he called in and told your boss you were sick and brought you food on his lunch break. (He’d also laid in bed with you the entire hour he was home and held your hand but the boss didn’t need to know that.) He made sure you had water and pain killers and ran you a hot bath to soothe your aches that night. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me, hermosa,” he’d said teasingly when he poked his head into the bathroom, “can’t have you drowning on me.” You laughed and he came in to press a kiss to your cheek before exiting to let you relax. 

You wish you’d let him drive you today like he offered once you’re back in the car and your tears flow freely. With your head in your hands, you nearly yell in frustration.  _ Why was it so hard to get the doctor to believe you?  _ Feeling angry and upset and overwhelmed, you let yourself scream once in the safety of the car before you take a deep breath and start your drive back to the apartment. 

Once you arrive and let yourself in, you aren’t at all surprised to see Javier at the table, paperwork spread out haphazardly and a cigarette in his mouth, clearly deep in thought until he notices you’re back. He stubs the cigarette out quickly and comes over to you, hands on his hips like always. If he can tell you’ve been crying, he doesn’t say so. He just asks, 

“What did the doctor say?” 

You let your head thump back against the front door and take a deep breath. Javier doesn’t say anything but you can feel him watching you. 

“They still don’t know,” you tell him, trying not to get choked up, “I…” you trail off, squeezing your eyes shut. A gentle hand comes to rest on your shoulder and you open your eyes to see that Javi is right in front of you now. 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,”

He means it and you know he won’t press. It’s one of the many reasons you love him so much. He cares, he wants to know what’s going on, but he also understands that it’s not as easy as just saying it out loud. Actions speak when he can’t sometimes, and you know he’ll extend the same courtesy to you. So you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer and he goes easily. His arms wrap around you in return and he rests his chin on the top of your head. He lets you hang onto him for as long as you need and even offers you a little smile when you pull back and give him a kiss. 

“I’m gonna take a quick shower and get out of this dress,” you tell him and he nods, going back to his paperwork. As you’re walking down the hallway he calls your name and you turn around to listen, 

“There’s a movie on tv in an hour if you wanna watch with me?” 

You tell him you’d like that and he doesn’t respond, but you can hear the squeak of the chair as he pulls it back out to sit down and finish up his work. 

After your shower, you wrap a towel around yourself and make your way to the bedroom to change. There’s noise coming from the kitchen and you have no idea what he could be doing. Javier doesn’t really cook, he mostly eats takeout or something he can whip up easily. You’re not an avid cook either but Javi swears your grilled cheese is the best he’s ever tasted. Most of the time, he doesn’t make it home for dinner so you eat a lot of sandwiches but you don’t mind. You knew what your boyfriend’s job entailed when you started dating him, you knew you weren’t getting a man who came home at the same time every day. 

Which makes your heart swell even more when you remember he offered to cut his day short and come home early just so he could be here for you. You almost get weepy about it but you push it down again. There’s a voice in the back of your mind telling you that you can’t keep pushing, if it goes down it’s gonna come back up eventually. But you ignore it in favor of padding into the kitchen barefoot to see what’s going on. 

“Do we have cheese in here?” Javier asks when you enter, fridge door wide open. 

“Yeah in the drawer,” you point and he raises his eyebrows and shakes his head. He closes the door with his foot and goes back to the stove. You watch for a second as he plops a lot of butter into a small skillet and then you have to ask, 

“What is happening here?” 

Javi turns and scowls at you, but there’s no menace behind it. He acts incredulous when he responds, 

“I was trying to make you a grilled cheese if you would let me work.” 

You shake your head at his tone, when Javier puts his mind to something it’s better to just let him do it. Turning around, you do a little hop and seat yourself on the counter next to his ingredients and he clucks his tongue at you. 

“Mmm, hermosa, now what are you up to sitting in my workspace?” 

Grinning at him, you reach over to steal a bite of the cheese he’s just pulled out of the fridge but his hand on your wrist stops you. He sighs like he’s exhausted from your antics and you laugh. If he’s in a good mood, it’s fun to tease Javi and you know he likes it too from the way he’s watching you. He puts your hand back in your lap and tells you, 

“You’re only allowed to sit up here if you behave, mi amor.” 

Dutifully, you fold your hands in your lap and promise, 

“I’ll behave if you come here for a second.”

Javier side eyes you for a second but you make your eyes wide and pout your lip and he relents, coming to stand between your dangling legs. Before he can ask what you want, you lean in and kiss him and you can feel his smirk against your lips. His fingers tickle your sides when he runs them up and down your skin under the loose sleep shirt you’d put on after your shower. You pull away before it can get too heated and Javier leans his forehead against yours and says, 

“I don’t think this counts as behaving.” 

You giggle and shove him back towards the dinner he’s making. 

“Behaving starts now,” you inform him, folding one of your legs under your chin to watch him work. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he grumbles while assembling your dinner. You’d bought fresh bread yesterday and it smelled so good you’d eaten a few pieces plain on your way home. True to your word, you stay quiet and just observe. While he’s clearly not an expert in the kitchen, Javi moves with purpose and soon there are two completed sandwiches. He looks them over and hands the least burnt one to you, wrapped in a paper towel. 

You thank him and he taps his sandwich against yours like they’re drinks before he leans against the side of the counter opposite of you. The two of you eat in silence but it’s not uncomfortable; just being in the room with him has calmed you down significantly. Once you’re finished, Javi pours himself a drink and you hop down off your perch and grab a glass of water before you head to the couch. 

There’s some shuffling behind you before Javier rounds the couch and plops down next to you. When you turn your head to look at him, he has so many buttons undone on his shirt you wonder why he doesn’t just take it off. Javi turns the tv on and gets it to the right channel before he realizes you’re looking at him. He catches your gaze and winks at you. With a roll of your eyes, you prop your feet up on the coffee table in front of you and settle in to watch the movie.

The movie is fine, you’d probably like it more if you could focus. Javi seems relaxed next to you and, other than a few laughs and comments about how they handle their guns on screen, he’s mostly quiet. You, on the other hand, have your arms crossed and your face is schooled into a neutral expression, but you feel like your mind is running a million miles a minute. It’s so hard to even wrap your mind around the problems you’re having. Doctors are supposed to help, but they don’t believe you. Your appointment today had been your 3rd in as many months and still nothing concrete. The doctor’s words from today repeat in your mind, 

“Back again for the menstrual discomfort?” 

When you’d nodded, he added,

“You think after so many years you’d be used to it!” 

And you knew it was supposed to be a joke, but your pain wasn’t funny to you. The doctor didn’t hear you crying when your cramps were so bad they woke you out of a dead sleep. The doctor didn’t watch you squirm and shuffle in your office chair, trying to find a position that didn’t make you want to scream out loud. The doctor didn’t have to deal with suspicious looks when you’d gone to the bathroom “too many times” according to your (male) supervisor. You couldn’t very well explain how bad your periods were to them, they wouldn’t get it and they likely wouldn’t care. It was hard enough to be taken seriously at the embassy as a woman. 

The only person who actually cared, you realize, was Javier. He didn’t know the extent of your struggle, couldn’t really without experiencing it himself. But he’d never once acted like you were exaggerating or that you shouldn’t be upset. Before you moved in together a few months ago, it has been easy enough to hide it from him. You told him you were on your period and he left you alone. At least, he did for a while. Then he started offering to come over and help you out, he’s heard orgasms help with cramps? And he’s more than happy to provide. Even then, as long as you kept him away on your worst days, you figured he was none the wiser and you liked the company too much to say no. 

Once you moved in with him, though, you couldn’t really hide it anymore. Especially not when you’d woken up in tears one night and moved to the couch so you wouldn’t wake him up. He’d noticed you were gone a lot quicker than you’d expected and he was confused when he found you propped up on all the throw pillows, crying into the blanket you’d brought with you from the bed. 

“Carino,” he’d whispered, coming to sit next to you on the couch, “what is it?” 

It was too late and you were too tired to hold it in anymore so you just told him everything at 3am that night in your living room. He listened patiently with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips turned down and he didn’t say anything for several minutes after you’d finished. You started to worry you’d said too much when you felt his hand on your arm and you looked up to see him looking...shocked? Sad? You couldn’t really decipher it but he sounded surprised when he asked, 

“Have you been hiding this the whole time we’ve been together?” 

Guilt at keeping a secret from your boyfriend traveled like bile up your throat and you could only nod and burst into sobs again. Javi moves off the couch and kneels in front of you. 

“Please look at me,” he asks and you feel like you owe him at least that much, so you do. His hand comes up to cup your cheek and he looks in your eyes before he says, 

“You don’t have to do this alone, amor, I’m right here.” 

You gulp air down through your tears and ask, 

“You’re not mad?”

Javier shakes his head and brings his other hand up so he’s cradling your face. 

“No, baby, of course not. I feel bad that you thought you couldn’t tell me.” 

“I wanted to,” you gasp, trying to calm yourself down, “I just didn’t know how.” 

Javi nods again like he understands and you realize he does. It’s not like Javi’s spilling his guts to you every day. But you cherish the times he does because you love that he trusts you. And you trust him back. You let yourself slide to the floor and into his arms and he holds you for a long time before he convinces you to come back to bed that night. 

_ Boom! _

An explosion on the screen startles you out of your thoughts and Javi chuckles at your reaction, reaching out to hold your hand. You squeeze his hand before you drag his arm up and over, settling it down across your shoulders so you can snuggle up to his side. Javier laughs again and you feel him press a kiss into your hair before he turns his attention forward again. 

As the movie plays on you get more comfortable, stretching your arm across his stomach and resting your head on his chest. Javier goes with it, let’s you move him and yourself until you’re where you want to be, then he just holds you. Neither of you feel the need to talk and you can feel Javi’s warm hand rubbing up and down your arm, almost like an afterthought. At some point, you unbutton his shirt the rest of the way so you can feel his warm skin under your fingertips. He acts like he doesn’t notice, but Javi takes that as an invitation to slip his hand under your shirt again, his fingers up and down your spine like he’s done so many times before. 

It’s so cozy and quiet and  _ safe  _ here in your apartment with him that you almost wish you never had to leave. You take a deep breath and let your eyes close. You don’t fall asleep but if you focus on his heartbeat under your ear and how he feels under your hand, you can block out everything else from your mind and just exist with him in this moment. 

You’re so relaxed and nearly boneless against him that you don’t realize the movie’s over until Javier tucks your hair back behind your ear and asks if you’re asleep. When you confirm that you’re awake, he shifts so he’s laying down and pulls you with him so you’re laying on top of him with his legs spread out on either side of your hips. You adjust so your head is on his shoulder and you can see his expressions up close. 

“We should probably go to bed,” you tell him, but you’re nuzzling his jaw while you say it and you don’t seem too eager to get up. Javi turns to look sideways at you and says,

“It’s early we can stay here for a little longer,” before he tilts his head and presses his mouth to yours. You can’t help the sigh that escapes from you and Javier tightens his grip on you to keep you close as he deepens the kiss. You run your hand up his side, scratching lightly and he groans when your fingers tangle in the hair at the back of his neck. Eager to hear whatever noises he’ll give to you, you take the opportunity to lick into his mouth. You’re rewarded with a surprise grunt from Javi but he rolls with it, caressing your tongue with his, causing you to arch against him. 

Time seems to stand still as you grind against each other on the couch. It’s lazy, unhurried, just feeling each other with no real intent to take it any further. Your lips meet his over and over until you have to stop for breath, letting your forehead fall against his chest. Javier runs his hand down your back and says, 

“Let’s go to bed, baby.” 

With a noise of protest, you roll off him as gracefully as you can, grabbing the coffee table to support you as you stand upright. You take one step to walk away before you feel arms grab onto your waist from behind and guide you back into your boyfriend’s lap. He’s sitting up now and he hooks his chin over your shoulder and rubs his face against your cheek. You chuckle and ask, 

“What happened to going to bed?” 

You feel him inhale against the skin of your shoulder before he whispers, squeezing you lightly, 

“I love you.” 

Your breath catches in your throat when he says it and you feel your eyes water a little. He’s said it before, it shouldn’t make you feel so  _ much  _ but it does. You sniffle before you can catch yourself and Javi’s head tilts to look at you before he releases a long breath and pushes both of you to stand up. You can’t help clinging to him while he walks around the room, turning off the lights and making sure the door is locked before you finally get into bed. 

As soon as you hit the mattress, Javi’s crowding in behind you and scooping your whole body back into his chest. You finally let the tears out you’ve been holding in since you got home and he whispers to you in Spanish, soft words you can barely make out but it’s soothing nonetheless. You’re not sure how long you cry, but Javier never lets go and you eventually fall asleep in his arms. 

Javi stays awake for a while after you drift off, pressing gentle kisses to your skin while he watches your face relax as you fall deeper into slumber. He wishes he could do something to take your pain away, watching you suffer kills him a little inside. Every time you grimace and clutch your stomach or can’t get comfortable, his heart breaks a tiny bit. He decides he’s gonna go with you to the next doctor’s appointment with you if he can; he knows he can’t make anything happen, but he can glare at them and he has no qualms about being an asshole to the doctor on your behalf. 

A small huff escapes your lips and you shift a little to hug his arm against your chest. Javi opens his palm and you snuggle your face into it before your body goes still again, breaths soft and even against the skin of his hand. With one more kiss to the back of your neck, Javi lets his eyes close and he drifts off to sleep, hoping you can find some rest in his hold for tonight at least. 


End file.
